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I Pledge Allegiance to Myself

I’m stepping out this year in big and bold ways. I’m writing a book, I’m creating new offerings and I’m stopping some old ones. I’m poking holes in my logic and challenging myself to get out of my own way. I’m going for the brass ring, taking myself more seriously and finding more joy and play along the way. I’m terrified and excited all at the same time – creating periodic bouts of nausea I’ve come to call “vomit moments”. Having experienced these moments at key points in my life, I’ve come to recognize them as sure-fire indicators I’m on to something important. I pay attention to vomit.

I’ve been experiencing a lot of vomit moments lately. As is my process, I tend to “stop, drop and roll” in these times – putting my ear flush to the ground to listen for hoof beats on the earth and whispers (or screams) from my soul to give me direction. This used to be an intensely private experience for me. But now I’m taking it public and here’s why: Brene Brown and her insanely good TEDTalk on the Power of Vulnerability. If you haven’t yet seen this, I highly recommend stopping everything you’re doing and watch it now. I’ll wait…

I’ve decided to go public with my vomit moments for two reasons: 1) I’m a coach who works with women to take leaps into the unknown and I want them to know I share their courage and walk my talk and 2) I’m proud of my commitment to opening myself up to being vulnerable. This last point is new for me…the pride. In watching Brene Brown’s talk about it, I learned that this ability to make myself vulnerable was actually a testament to my degree of self worth and my desire to have myself be seen fully – by me and others – so that I am able to make substantial and real connections. According to Ms. Brown’s extensive research on the topic, people who are willing to make themselves vulnerable tell their story with their whole heart (which incidentally is at the root of the word “courage”, from the French “coeur”) because they believe that what makes them vulnerable is what makes them beautiful.

So there it is. Vulnerability=Beauty.

And here it goes. In this season of stepping out and cliff-leaping, I’m pledging allegiance to myself. I’ve done this countless times before, but this is the first time I’m doing so publicly. I have a list of 10 things I wish to uphold for myself in the coming months. I call them “Lael Code”. They may not mean much to you, but I assure you they do to me. I’m not going to go into much detail on them, but if you’re interested, I’d be happy to elaborate…just ask. And here’s my ask of you. Hold me accountable. Let me know you’ve read this. Pick one of the ten you like and ask me how it’s going. When you see or hear me do something, help me connect the dots and celebrate I’m actually honoring them (like this post being an example of #3 in action, for instance…). Thank you.

  1. Believe in what you can’t see
  2. Feast on your life
  3. Ask for what you need
  4. Tell your story with your whole heart
  5. Practice gratitude in moments of terror
  6. Let yourself be seen
  7. Do it anyway
  8. Feel your feelings
  9. Receive the gift of myself
  10. Let go and enjoy the ride

There is tremendous power in making something public. I highly recommend. But go for the vomit. Everything else is just decoration.

2 comments to " I Pledge Allegiance to Myself "

  • YES! That is what this post means to me. It is about the Yes energy we can emit even if we have NO clue where it may lead. I love the Lael Code.I will have to think of which one I will ask you about. Now I am thinking about my code. My new vomit moment is seeing what it is like if I control nothing in my life but truly open to living each moment as if it is really the only moment in existence. (This may sound cliche but feels more like stepping off the tightrope into who knows where.) Lael, you set a great example to clients. I was just saying to someone the other day that coaches in order to be effective must live on their own edge. Hear hear! You do this beautifully.

  • Go, Lael! I have got to watch that Brene Brown talk – though I suspect I implemented some of it on my own recently. And, interestingly, the heart/courage connection has been a theme in some of my yoga classes recently. Can't wait to see you in person and check up on your progress. 😉