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The Men I Know

A 5-month group for men who want to go deep inside their experience of what it means to be a man in the world today.

The Men I Know…

  • Are comfortable being a man, but are craving more substantive connections with other men (like the ones they have with women)—discussing something beyond sports, work or drinking.
  • Have deep respect for the powerful women in their lives—and are angry at how unsafe, unseen and undervalued those women feel in our world.
  • Are seeking inspiration, fresh perspective, or intellectual stimulation—but have no interest in church, taking a class, joining a therapeutic group or participating in naked drumming ceremonies.
  • Are happy, successful and relatively content, but also want to explore beyond—and deeper into—their current experience of life.
  • Are starting to see the privilege they have, but are at a loss for what it even means to be a man today—and are also embarrassed by the state of men in the world
  • Want to be of service to reimagine a better future for us all—but are overwhelmed by what to do or where to begin
  • Want to be of service to our world, but don’t feel they belong or fit in anywhere—and struggle to participate in some of most critical conversations of our times

Space—Just for You

This unconventional five-month circle offers a small group of men the chance to pause in the midst of their busy lives—to connect with other men, reflect on what it means to be a man in the world, and explore what’s meaningful and true for you today. We gather once a month during the dark of winter—November through March—in person at my office. It’s what your hungry soul and tired spirit has been searching for this season.

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Here’s how it works:

Each month the same group of five men gather in my office for two hours around a “campfire” topic—the five themes listed below are the most commonly discussed among men in my practice—and in my life.

Imagine stories and shared experiences that feel as if someone got inside your head and read your thoughts. Imagine raucous laughter, knowing looks, resonant nods and feeling like finally—FINALLY—someone gets you.

All those good thoughts, stories, ideas and energy leave with you that night like hot coals and you keep the fire lit on your own with readings and wonderings that deepen your experience and aid in digestion.

And then imagine coming back for more—four times. It’s like that.

  • The connections are immediate and easy because I know all of you and I’ve formed this group with you in mind.
  • The space is comfortable and fun because it’s just me and I don’t know how to do it any other way.
  • The conversation is rich, nourishing, and relevant because I’m centering us on topics the men I know are having.

Apply Here


Stoking the Fire

This first gathering will lay the foundation for this five-month experience, beginning with arriving as a group of men—individually and collectively—and settling into what this will be like. Through sharing of stories, you’ll be oriented to each other and will have the ability to take stock of where you are in your experience of being a man at this age and stage of your life. Beyond getting to know each other’s stories, setting the context and covering logistics, we’ll make space for you to share what drew you to this experience, why it feels relevant to where you are now in your life, and what you are seeking as a result.



This month, you’ll reflect on what you were taught, told to believe, and observed about being a man among men, and how that aligns with what is true for you. We’ll discuss and digest different (sometimes conflicting) perspectives of what “being a man” means in today’s society and how it intersects with your notions of how the masculine/feminine energies present in all of us are held and expressed. We’ll widen the lens to look at how your life experiences as men shape and inform your relationship with other men and how that impacts men’s sense of community, friendships and brotherhood.



This month you’ll plug into what feeds you by exploring the topic of balance and how you stay whole in the context of all the competing and never-ending demands of a full life. We’ll acknowledge how the “broad shoulders” of men can grow exponentially out of a sense of responsibility, and deplete the mind, body, and spirit as a result, having you pit one side of your life against another. You’ll clarify more clearly what you’re hungry for and explore alternate perspectives on holding seemingly conflicting demands that allow for a more integrated life.


Something More

This fourth gathering looks at the arc of your life from the lens of meaning, values, and how you define a life well lived. We’ll honor how routines, schedules, tasks and a sense of accomplishment seduce us away from what matters—especially when everything feels urgent, and time moves faster and faster. This conversation will illuminate where you are in the swirl of your life—and what seeds you want to sow, but haven’t. You’ll have space to access to latent ideas or pick up on the scent deep desires – even if they are vague, half-baked notions, or feel far-flung.


Everyday Embers

You’ll reflect on where you go from here, given the insights and experiences you’ve pocketed over the past five months. We’ll explore ways in which you might maintain a connection to yourself, each other and the energy of this group so you can integrate them into this next chapter of your life. Embedded in this final group conversation is an invitation to further commit to yourself as a man – clarifying what that means, why it’s important, and what it looks like—so your connection to yourself and others will grow beyond the scope of this men’s circle.

This circle is for you if:

You never really thought much about being a man, but now you can’t stop thinking about it—and yet you feel alone, like you have no where to go with that .

You’re not typically a “group person” and the whole idea of gathering in a circle makes you…slightly uncomfortable.

You’ve always related quickly, easily and really well with women—especially powerful ones—and yet, you’re definitely a guy.

You’re exhausted, uninspired, and often hungry for something you can’t name.

You want some different perspectives, fresh ideas, and new ways of looking at things—to get you out of the box, plugged in, and freed up.

You like to dig with both hands, a curious mind and an open heart—be it a good book, juicy conversation or complex thoughts and ideas.

I’ve got you covered.

Contact Me


The series of five gatherings is $550 (monthly payments are available)

The circle meets one Thursday evening a month from November to March. All gatherings are in person at my office from 6:30-8:30 pm

Registration includes participation in all five gatherings as well as a circle reader (which is entirely optional to read) organized by theme.

Membership in this group is curated and limited to five

Spots for this circle generally fill up quickly—by September—so if you’re keen on participating, don’t wait to reach out to me

Men only participate in this circle once, so rest assured this is the first time for everyone attending

Apply Here

Dates: 2023

November 9

December 7

January 18

February 15

March 14

Good to Know

This is not a book club, course or structured program/class—it’s an organic conversation centered around a topic each month.

The intent is to deepen the understanding of yourselves as men, so we won’t be talking about all the men “out there” as much as we’ll will be looking at what’s here, in you and the group.

Men don’t usually know each other when we begin—but the common thread between us all is generally me and my relationship with each of you.

Participants are expected to attend all five gatherings. Conversations build on each other, and the relationships deepen each month as a result.

Rest assured that for most men, this is your first experience gathering with a group of men—so this will be a novel experience for most everyone (including me).

This circle isn’t therapy, and we won’t fix, advise or rescue each other—but we do keep it real and let it be messy, unfinished and evolving.

This experience served as a launching pad for some deep changes that had been brewing within, but that I could not give form to. I ended the circle with a level of clarity that has been missing for years.

Under Lael’s guidance (a perfect cocktail of masterful orchestration and gentle coaxing), the group settled into itself and in the deadest part of winter the magic happened.

You create these heart-opening, mind-opening, body-opening, possibility-opening structures in which we can play. And then you give us total permission to ignore all of it.

Lael’s constant quest at reframing the topics of discussion from many different perspectives allowed the dialogue to expand and generate a really rich and full flavor. She is able to direct the group in many uncharted directions and somehow not allow anyone to feel like they are veering off course.

Fiery missives. Stories with heart. Fresh perspectives. Nutrient-rich field notes.

Invite me into your inbox and I promise to make it worth your while with e-mails that feel like conversations.

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