If the coaching police suddenly descended upon my universe and insisted that I was only allowed one question to use in my practice — no, let’s be more dramatic…only one question in my LIFE — this would be it: Do you want to find out?
From where I sit this question is where the rubber meets the road. This is the question that starts my engine and finally pops me into gear. And furthermore, if I may be so bold, responding affirmatively to this question has been the golden key that has unlocked everything good and treasured in my life.
Is he the one for me?
Do you want to find out?
Are we crazy to buy this house?
Do you want to find out?
Am I ready to be a mother?
Do you want to find out?
Do I have what it takes to run my own business?
Do you want to find out?
Can I really write a book?
Do you want to find out?
That one question is my antidote to fear, doubt, angst and the dreaded “I don’t know”. Which is not to say that it makes all those things go away. No, I know better than to wait for that blessed moment to occur. As a creative and an entrepreneur, I know fear and insecurity and doubt will be my constant traveling companions. In fact, I’m grateful to them – their presence in my life keeps me awake, at choice, and humble to my human existence. On the good days.
But on the bad days, they can bring me to my knees. Sometimes the voices of fear and doubt and I don’t know are so loud and raucous in the backseat of my car, I just have to pull over an sob in the breakdown lane of the road a bit.
What has helped in these moments has not been to overpower their voices with my own or to tell them to shut up. Ignoring them and pretending they don’t exist doesn’t work either. But feel free to try those strategies if you don’t believe me.
What helps me is, frankly, what I often resist: feeling my feelings. Letting them in all the way. Listening to them – not in a tolerant or patronizing way, but with a sincere desire to hear them out. That’s what creates the exhale, and I wait for that life-giving exhale every time. Because you know what comes after it? My favorite question:
Do you want to find out?
That question is the call from a free spirited friend who invites you to go on a spontaneous road trip. That question is what gives me the courage to strike out into the unknown. That question is the gentle tap on the shoulder with an intriguing idea, an appealing invitation, or a one-way ticket to a generally delicious and completely new land. That question is a request to trust my instincts and honor my intuition, even if my head hasn’t fully agreed. Inside that question lives adventure, inspiration, curiosity, and possibilities. Do you know what else lives in that question?
My resourcefulness, focus and commitment.
And that, my friend, is where the rubber meets the road for me — those last three key ingredients — the place where I make the decision, own it, and begin to tap into my deepest reservoirs of courage, faith, and creativity. The place I take action.
It’s important to note, that this is not a one-time event for me. It’s a way of being that is fairly constant, almost predictable. It’s also important to note, that sometimes my answer to that question — do you want to find out? — is no.
But that wasn’t the case for me the other day – in fact the entire month of March. Without going into too much backstory, here’s the the latest intel I’ve been hearing from the backseat of my car:
Are you really going to write another book?
Do you honestly think you’re a real writer?
I thought you were tired…you sure you have energy for this?
What if no one cares and you’re just wasting all this time and energy?
I’ve been listening to all their points – some of them very valid – and I’ve been feeling the weight of their concerns and cautions. I’ve pulled my car over many days, broken down, and finally – finally felt the exhale. And then I heard:
You want to find out?
And my answer?
You fucking better believe I want to find out.
I’m a yes. And this is Day 1 of me finding out. No foolin’.
